Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

"Ugh, it's sooo hot out today! Why does summer have to be so brutal?!"

"It's your fault for wearing a jacket, you know. Why don't you just take it off?"

"No way! It completes my outfit!"

"Then stop complaining. You're giving me a headache."

"Aww, so sorry, brother-kun! I could massage your temples for you!"

"...No."

If it's you, a massage would only make things worse...

Sunday - the perfect day for students to relax and catch up on schoolwork before the cycle began again come Monday morning. It was on days like these that Ritsu found himself with nothing to do, a thick veil of boredom shrouding over him for twelve straight hours. Sure, there was always homework to finish, studying to do, student council activities to review, but somehow Ritsu found himself working much more efficiently in the comfort of his own home. By the time lunch was finished, there was nothing left for the poor boy to do.

It wasn't like he had any hobbies to pass the time with, and the few people he might possibly consider friends were busy with their own plans. This week, too, even Mob was out of the house for the day, assisting that con artist with some emergency exorcism or something. Judging from the way Mob had sighed after the phone call with his master, it was safe to assume it was something fairly trivial that Reigen simply wasn't equipped to deal with. Whatever the case, the result was the same: Ritsu was once again all alone on the weekend.

That is, until a certain peppy esper kid showed up at the Kageyama household, all smiles as he asked to speak to the older brother. Somehow, Ritsu had felt a bit disappointed. "Brother is at his job today. He probably won't be home until dinnertime," he'd explained, noting how the boy visibly deflated at the news.

"Ah, I see. That's too bad! I even brought lunch and everything... though I guess it's my fault for not calling ahead," Teru mumbled to himself, clutching the folded cloth in his hands tighter as he thought. "It'd be a shame for all my cooking to go to waste, unless...," he trailed off, looking up at Ritsu with his big blue eyes almost pleadingly.

Ritsu eyed the parcel, quirking a brow in question. "What are you trying to get at, Hanazawa? I'm not in the mood for guessing games," he said, crossing his arms as he leaned against the door frame. Teru's gaze followed his movements, and it made him slightly nervous, but he tried his best to hide it.

Teru's sulky expression quickly brightened, a hopeful smile gracing his soft features. "How would you like to come on a picnic with me, brother-kun? We could put down a blanket, maybe take a walk on the park trails... what do you say?" he asked, bouncing slightly on his feet.

Was he really so desperate for company...?

It didn't take long to formulate a response. "Sure. I've got nothing better to do at the moment," as soon as the confirmation left his mouth, Teru's shoulders drooped as he let out a sigh. Was he holding his breath?! "So, where are we going?"

"It's a lovely new park near my place! It's not too far, so we can just walk there," Teru said as he already began to turn back towards the street, glancing over his shoulder as if to reassure himself that Ritsu hadn't just been humoring him the whole time and wasn't really planning on joining him. When the latter didn't immediately slam the door, his features perked up. "Come on then, let's go! Don't want the food to go bad before we even get there, do we?"

You packed it in tupperware, didn't you...? Ritsu rolled his eyes and walked out onto the front steps, locking the door behind him.

So began their weekly picnic outings at the local park every Sunday afternoon. Ritsu honestly hadn't been expecting the older boy to return, much less ask for his company a second time. He had previously assumed Teru was only interested in hanging out with Mob, and that he had settled for Ritsu purely for convenience's sake. However, the next week, and even the week after that, Teruki returned to the Kageyama residence with a folded cloth bundle in hand, offering a leisurely picnic in the park to none other than Ritsu himself. He hadn't the foggiest idea why, but it seemed Teru genuinely enjoyed his company. Well, that or he was pulling some elaborate prank, but he didn't seem the type to waste time on such things (unlike a certain redhead).

Said teen let out a muffled groan to his left, and Ritsu turned to him in exasperation. "Seriously, just take the damn thing off. It's really not that big of a deal," he said, his annoyance evident in the tone of his voice.

Teruki lifted his head to meet the other's gaze. "Really?" he asked, expression unexpectedly vulnerable. "You're sure you don't mind...?" he trailed off, looking away.

Ritsu only stared in confusion. "What? Why would I mind? I'd rather you not die of heatstroke while I'm sitting right next to you," he meant it as a joke, an attempt to lighten the suddenly tense mood. He was never as good with words as the charismatic Hanazawa, but the words seemed to have their intended effect.

"So it's okay if I die somewhere else?" he responded, a lilt to his voice that made Ritsu smirk. "Here I cook all these nice things for you, and you wouldn't even mind if I died! You wound me, Ritsu."

It was like a truck full of every embarrassing moment in his life came crashing into Ritsu in that one instant, and all at once he was at a loss as what to say. Teru, whether intentionally or not, had just referred to him by his first name. His first name. He still didn't even call Mob by his first name yet! Was it just a slip-up? Did he say it on purpose knowing he wouldn't be expecting it? Not to mention...

...I cook all these nice things for you...

Ritsu had never put much thought into the gesture before, but now... now that Teru himself had just said it outright, he found himself uncharacteristically flustered. That first time really was just a coincidence, but every lunch after that...

Teruki, standing alone in his kitchen, pouring over recipes and ingredients, considering which dish Ritsu might like, what he might dislike... did he ever feel nervous before they met up? Did he ever worry Ritsu wouldn't like what he prepared? 

Teruki, spending his time thinking about Ritsu... does he look forward to these outings as much as he does?

Teruki, spending time with Ritsu every weekend... surely he has other friends to be with; does he really like him so much that he willingly spends precious free time by his side alone?

"O-oi, Ritsu? Are you still with me?" Teru's voice broke through the cloud in his mind, and Ritsu flinched involuntarily, face heating up as he acknowledged the other.

"...You, uh. You're calling me Ritsu now?" he asked tentatively, words just barely forming in his mouth.

Teru stared blankly for a few moments before his eyes widened, mouth opening silently in distress. "Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't- I won't call you that if you don't like it!" he all but squeaked out in rapid apology. His cheeks took on a pinkish hue, but it was probably just the lighting. Probably.

Ritsu was speaking before he even processed anything. "No, actually, I want you to call me Ritsu," he nearly didn't recognize his voice with how soft it came out, but he truly meant what he said. He wanted Teruki to see him as Ritsu Kageyama, not Shigeo Kageyama's little brother.

Teru froze entirely. His expression was absolute incredulity as he examined Ritsu's eyes, searching for any sign of insincerity. The pure honesty he found only deepened the rosy hint of his cheeks, and he gave a lopsided smile as he laughed nervously. "Really? I... wasn't expecting that. But, uh, if that's what you'd prefer then... okay! Then, Ritsu, you can call me Teruki. Or Teru if you'd like, I don't mind either!" he stammered, words tumbling out of his mouth in a way Ritsu had never heard from the typically suave boy before. It was actually endearing in a way.

"Of course... Teruki," Ritsu replied, smooth and even, like he'd been saying if all along. For a moment it looked like Teru might spontaneously combust, with the way the corners of his lips twitched and his hands curled into sweaty fists, but he quickly set to work regaining his composure. Ritsu couldn't help but smile fondly at his friend's response. He'd been smiling a lot lately around him.

The remainder of the picnic settled back into the usual rhythm; the two talked about random topics, ranging from school to cooking to fashion. Teru had finally removed the offending jacket, which now sat bundled neatly next to the picnic basket, easily forgotten despite his earlier resistance. Time flowed so smoothly between the duo, something Ritsu greatly appreciated; like this, he didn't have the time to worry or dwell on darker thoughts. Conversations between them were always engaging and always full of sly humor.

"What's with you and your clothes, anyways? It's not like this is some special event; you don't need to dress up every time," Ritsu commented, shifting on his side and resting a hand next to his thigh for balance.

Teru turned to him, feigning offence with an exaggerated gasp. "What, you don't think this is something special? I want to look my best for my dear friend!" he said, Ritsu choking on his drink at the bold statement.

He gets dressed up... for me?

Teruki merely smiled at him, turning back to his half-eaten lunch without another word. As Ritsu struggled to clear his throat, Teru passed his fork from his right hand to his left, innocently laying his now empty hand squarely in the space between the two of them. He only spared the other a sideways glance. "Hey, I'd rather you not die from choking while I'm sitting right next to you," he commented mockingly, chuckling to himself at his own joke. How does this guy manage to say the most embarrassing things?

Ritsu brought a hand to his chest as he cleared his throat, confident that he was no longer at risk of another coughing fit. He glared at Teru's profile, catching the smug look on his face without fail. Butterflies were dancing so passionately in his stomach that he found it difficult to continue eating, but the silence between them was quickly becoming unbearable, so Ritsu forced the food into his mouth to avoid speaking. Teruki just continued to gaze down at the food left on his plate, taking the occasional bite. His eyes trail down his figure, Ritsu silently laughing to himself as he recalled Teru's earlier fashion panic, when he finally noticed something that hadn't been there before. Teru's right hand, dead center in the empty space between their legs. For some reason Ritsu can't quite name, he becomes fixated on the sight, momentarily forgetting his frustration in favor of contemplating this new development.

It's just... there. Just sitting there, right in the middle of them, just asking to be held. Ritsu's hand twitches as he resists the urge to reach out, the logical side of his brain providing a lengthy list of reasons not to do it, but with Teru, Ritsu found that logic wasn't as enticing as it usually was. With him, Ritsu could say things that he would never say normally, could act and think in ways he had previously scoffed at. Just being with him like this, he felt at ease with himself, and wasn't so afraid of speaking his mind or letting himself relax. He had only ever felt so content around his brother, but even then, he and Mob were just too alike; they both hid their feelings, and they both didn't speak to others very much. Teruki, on the other hand, was the definition of a social butterfly. He had a comfortable presence, and the way he spoke to people was so casual and so honest that it was hard not to open up around him. Not to mention, he had been so patient with Ritsu. He waited until Ritsu thought of what he wanted to say, and if he simply wasn't in a talking mood, Teru would do all the talking for him, telling stories and recounting events in his life with a flair that could make even algebra interesting.

Okay, enough with the excuses. He really, really wants to hold that hand.

Slowly... slowly... don't startle him...

Ritsu's gaze flickered erratically from his shaking hand to Teruki's face, careful not to be caught in the act. He had never really held hands with anyone other than his brother, but the sight of that gentle hand so close to his own was undeniably tempting. He could already feel the flush of blood rushing to his face as he managed to scoot his hand closer and closer to his ultimate goal. His shoulders were painfully tense, and he was sure he would look ridiculous to any onlookers, but he was determined to finish what he had started, no matter the risk of possible rejection.

But then the tip of his pinkie finger brushed against the side of Teru's hand, and his skin is so smooth it sends a jolt of electricity up his arm and straight to his chest, causing him to recoil reflexively. Ritsu's heart was beating impossibly hard against his ribs as he strained himself to sit perfectly still, refusing to look at the other for fear that their eyes would meet. It's nothing to worry about! He could easily pass it off as an accident! A little brush of a finger isn't anything to be suspicious of, right?

That was a close one... he should really just give it up and go back to finishing his food. Except...

I really want to feel that spark again.

When did he become so invested in this? Why does he even want to hold Teruki's hand so badly in the first place? That isn't something friends normally do, is it? Ritsu gulped, questions and uncertainty filling his every thought as he once again placed his hand on the blanket, sliding towards Teru's own just a bit faster than before. Teru is a touchy kind of person, that much is obvious. Maybe he wouldn't mind doing something like that, even if they're only friends. Only... friends...

He stopped just short of making contact, a grimace settling on his face. Who is he kidding? Teruki is so popular with all the girls he's around, it's so obvious he has no interest in-

"Oh, for crying out loud!"

Teruki's sudden outburst startled him, but what really grabbed his attention was something he truly hadn't been expecting. Namely, the fact that Teru had closed the distance between their hands himself, his fingers sliding comfortably between his own trembling ones. Ritsu's face was pure crimson as he gaped up at Teru, who was looking back at him with an expression that could only be described as fond exasperation. "Seriously, I put my hand there on purpose you know. Are you really so shy that you can't even take the hand that's given to you? Here I thought you were the charismatic brother," Teru teased, leaning in towards Ritsu so that their elbows touched. "It's okay. I want you to hold my hand," he said, the use of Ritsu's own words only adding to the latter's upset state.

"W-wait, don't tell me... you were waiting for me to make the first move?!" Ritsu exclaimed, making no effort to move away. "I'm not- I'm not exactly the affectionate type!"

Teruki grinned, the way he did when they first met on the street months ago, and Ritsu held his breath. "Yet you were practically dying to hold my hand, weren't you? I could see the way you were blushing, Ritsu," he laughed, eyes shining as he took in the other's red face in closer detail. "You're so cute without even trying."

"C-cute?! I'm not cute!" Ritsu stammered, only causing Teru to laugh harder. Ritsu watched the way his shoulders shook, listened to the sound of his laughter, and god his entire body feels like it'll melt right then and there. Before he knew it, his lips had curled into a genuine smile, soon after followed by bubbling laughter rising from his chest.

They must have looked like quite the pair, giggling and holding hands like a bunch of silly schoolgirls, but honestly neither of them particularly cared about what anyone might think. Ritsu hadn't been able to laugh like this in so long... he'd nearly forgotten that he was capable of such a thing. His eyes were closed as he lost himself in emotion, and when he opened them, he was met with the striking stare of icy blue eyes. Teru had stopped laughing at some point, and was now just staring at Ritsu with something like wonder in his expression. Ritsu cleared his throat indignantly, eyebrows furrowing as he returned Teru's look. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Sorry, it's just that I've never actually heard you laugh before," he explained, never once taking his eyes off of Ritsu's face. "It's a nice sound. You should laugh more often."

"Stop saying things like that so casually! It's so embarrassing...," Ritsu whined, resting his forehead on Teru's shoulder in order to hide his expression. He definitely wasn't used to feeling so vulnerable. Teruki chuckled softly, shifting to a more upright position and leaning his head against Ritsu, closing his eyes in contentment. The close proximity was so entirely foreign to Ritsu, but... it was definitely not unwelcome. In fact, sitting like this, with the sounds of nature surrounding them, with the warm wind enveloping them like a veil, Ritsu felt a level of calmness he'd have never thought possible.

They sat like that for what felt like hours yet was likely only several minutes, Ritsu's head cradled against Teruki's shoulder, Teru's cheek resting atop spiky black hair. Between them, Ritsu's hand had twisted to allow them to fully entwine their fingers, so much so that they could feel each others hearts beating through the thin layers of skin. It was a moment out of time, like the world around them stopped existing, or it had simply decided to focus entirely on them in that moment and nothing else. Nothing else mattered, and it was absolutely perfect. But perfection never lasts very long.

Teruki lifted his head, a heavy sigh escaping his lungs and blowing some of Ritsu's hair. Ritsu, too, brought his head up, and Teru gave him an apologetic look. "Ah, we should probably clean up now, huh?" Teru chuckled, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

"Yeah, probably..." Ritsu muttered, unwilling to pull away from the warmth Teru provided him. But they really couldn't stay like this forever, and Teru likely had other plans with other people anyways, so for now, they would have to part ways.

Reluctantly, the two slipped free from each other and began the task of cleaning up the leftover food and containers. They didn't speak, but the silence this time was more comfortable than anything else. A few times, Teru caught Ritsu's gaze as they moved about the blanket, and he smiled in admiration as the other averted his eyes every time. No matter what you say, you really are adorable, Ritsu.

As the last of the containers was stacked away inside the basket, and the blanket was brushed off and tied securely around it, the two espers stood facing one another, neither wanting to leave and abandon the moment between them. Ritsu kept his head down, focusing on the grass stains on his shoes as he waited for what would happen next. I don't want to go home to an empty house...

Thankfully, Teruki found the courage to break the silence, extending his right hand in offering. "Would you like to go on a walk before we head home?" he proposed, tilting his head to the side playfully.

This time, Ritsu did not hesitate to take what was given to him. "...Yes. I'd like that."

Maybe they should get together more often.

Chapter Text

"Ritsu."

...

"Hey, Ritsu."

...Silence

"Riiiiiitsuuu..."

More silence.

"Ricchan!"

"What do you want?"

Success!

"Ritsu, I'm bored."

"So? What do you expect me to do about it?"

"Take me shopping!"

"Ha, okay! I'll just go grab my credit card!"

"Sheesh Mr. Snark, I never said you'd be the one paying."

"If you have the money, why do you need me to go with you?"

"Isn't it obvious? So we can go shopping together!"

"Together? As in... we both buy things?"

"Exactly! Well, what do you say?"

"I'm not really into shopping, you know... plus I wouldn't feel right having you pay for everything."

"Come oooon, I really don't mind! It could be fun - I have a particular store in mind I'm sure you'd be interested in."

"... Fine, I'll come. But that doesn't mean I'm guaranteed to find something I'll like. I won't get anything if I don't see the need to, understand?"

"Great, great, I got it! Let's get going!"

"Wh- now?! Teru, I still have homework to finish...!"

"You'll have plenty of time for that, this won't take long at all!"

"Why am I finding it so hard to believe you...?"

"Please end my suffering," Ritsu grumbled to himself, slouched uncomfortably on the cushioned bench in the department store Teru had dragged him to.

He could feel his pride slowly beginning to drain away as soon as he stepped foot in the tacky establishment, the neon colors burning multicolored holes in his retinas every time he dared to look up from the hardwood floors. Teru had immediately taken off in search of something that would "suit him", leaving Ritsu to linger awkwardly in the store's entryway. Eventually an employee seemed to notice his discomfort and asked if he needed any help finding something. He was very tempted to reply with something along the lines of "my dignity", but he pushed the temptation down and politely declined, deciding he might as well stick around the other esper in this unfamiliar environment.

It wasn't hard to spot him, deftly sorting through the medium-sized apparel with a look of deep concentration on his face. It would almost be endearing if the clothing hanging on that particular rack weren't so horribly vibrant that Ritsu couldn't look directly at them. Teru perked up as he approached, motioning for him to stand at his side. "Hey, Ritsu, come look at this for a sec, will you?"

Ritsu internally braced himself for whatever hellish article had caught Teru's eye. Teru plucked the hanger from the rack, holding it against his torso and looking to the other expectantly. "This one, how do you think it looks on me? Not that I doubt my own sense of style, but since I've brought you here, I wanted to get your opinion as well. Thoughts?"

Ritsu was... pleasantly surprised. What Teru had picked out was a rather bold-looking embroidered bomber jacket, black and white with traditional Japanese symbols decorating the front. It stood out, but not necessarily in a tasteless way - street fashion, was it? The colors complemented Teru's blond hair and flushed skin, and Ritsu had to admit that it was a nice find. "It's good. Not too hideous."

"I'll take that as an approval," he chuckled, draping the jacket over his arm and resuming his search. "I'm going to try and find some things to match this, then. Oh, have you seen anything you like so far?" he asked over his shoulder, squinting at a pair of bell-bottom jeans.

"Not really. Honestly, I doubt I'll be seeing much of anything after all this neon permanently damaged my eyes," he deadpanned, to which Teru laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Oh you big baby, it's not so bad! Wearing such striking colors helps you to stand out! Make a statement!"

Ritsu scoffed. "Why would I want to stand out? I'm not exactly the sociable type, you know."

Teru sighed, turning to rest a hand on his companion's shoulder. "What's so bad about trying new things? You'll never know if you'll like it unless you give it a chance," he said, giving Ritsu's shoulder a friendly pat. "There must be something that caught your interest!"

Ritsu felt himself growing hot under Teru's intense gaze, and he looked away from those piercing blue eyes and towards the rest of the store. After a minute of contemplation, he decided to say, with an unintentional pout, "I don't know much about clothes, to be honest. I'm not sure what would look good on me."

Teru's eyes widened, and Ritsu could practically feel him smiling. "Well why didn't you say so? I'd love to pick out clothes for you!" he beamed, and Ritsu immediately regret every word to ever crawl its way out of his mouth.

"No, that's- that's not what I meant! I told you I'm not into shopping like you, this isn't really something I enjoy," he sputtered, raising his hands defensively.

"Of course, I understand! Which is why I will do the shopping for you!" Teru exclaimed, smiling so brightly that Ritsu actually preferred to stare at the glittering neon garments. "You just sit back and relax, let me pick out something nice for you, and then you can try it on and see how you feel. How's that sound?"

"Well..." Ritsu considered the offer. It wasn't like he would have to buy the clothes Teru picked if he really didn't like them. Plus, it would be nice to sit down instead of wandering awkwardly around the store. With a resigned sigh, he mumbled, "Okay," and Teru looked positively ecstatic.

"Great! Just let me do my thing, I'll bring the clothes to you to try on," he said, and Ritsu hadn't realized the hand still gripping his shoulder until it was suddenly gone, along with Teru himself. He released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and sat down on the leather seats across from the dressing rooms.

That was how he had ended up slouched lazily back against the white leather seat, eyes half-lidded and threatening sleep, waiting for an indeterminate amount of time for his friend to return. He was really starting to regret waking up in the morning.

It was surprisingly comfortable like that, arms crossed and head back, listening to the low sounds of generic pop music playing over the speakers, temperature just so that he felt nice and warm. School had been so exhausting lately... he wasn't one who normally enjoyed taking naps, but damn if he wasn't incredibly tempted.

Oops, did his eyes just slide shut? Oh no, now he's going to fall asleep! How terrible!

...

Maybe he should take naps more often?

...

"...tsu?"

...

"Ritsu? You're not dead, are you?"

Don't respond... just pretend to sleep...

"Yoohoo, Ricchan, up here! I'm talking to you!"

Ricchan. He called me Ricchan in public.

Not sleeping anymore!

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me tha-"

Oh.

Oh wow.

Truly, the planets must have been aligned this day, for miracles were suddenly and most definitely unexpectedly occurring right before young Ritsu's eyes.

Teru stood a few feet away from him, hand on his hip and weight shifted to one side in a casual stance, expression clearly expectant. "So? How do I look? Cool, right?"

The question would have made him laugh had he the ability to disagree. However, as Teru stood before him, dressed in the new outfit he'd picked out for himself, Ritsu found he couldn't deny the fact that Teru looked... good.

He was wearing that same bomber jacket from before, the material shining but not overly so, unzipped a third of the way down to reveal a white tank top underneath. His pants were a dark gray color - distressed skinny jeans, just slightly too long for his legs. He had even picked out a pair of shoes to complete the look, a pair of hightop sneakers in the same color scheme as the jacket.

It wasn't anything like the usually questionable outfits Teru was known for. There was nothing glaring or obnoxious about it. Ritsu couldn't believe his eyes, but Teru really did look cool, and the style really suited him, and oh whoops he'd been staring silently for like three minutes now.

"O-oh, uh, yeah. Yeah! You look, uh. Nice."

Teru smiled, a different smile than before. This one held a sort of warmth, almost like adoration. Ritsu desperately hoped his face wasn't as red as it felt. "Glad you agree! This isn't what I would normally wear, but I felt like trying something new!" Teru went on, adjusting the jacket as he spoke.

Boy, did he wish Teru would wear that style more often.

"Oh, by the way, I've got an outfit for you!" he chimed, reaching behind him to a rack of clothing against the wall. "You like blue, right? Well, either way, you look good in blue," he rambled on as he picked the clothes off the rack.

Poor Ritsu was burning. "I... look good in blue?" he repeated incredulously. Had Teru ever even seen him in something blue...?

"Here we go! Just try this on real quick," he took a pile of clothes and shoved it into Ritsu's arms, clearly very excited to see how Ritsu liked the style.

He never thought he would be so happy to dash into an overpriced 80s style department store changing room, but there he was, closing the stall door behind him, finally free to smush his red face in his hands. Why was Teru getting to him like this? He must be more tired than he thought.

Ritsu sighed, looking down at the bundle specially picked out with him in mind. Did Teru really put so much thought into what he might like? Was it normal to compliment your friend that way?

God, I'm really awful at shopping.

Thankfully, nothing in the assortment of clothing was burning his eyes, so he supposed that was a good sign.

Without thinking, he unfolded each article and put it on, too embarrassed to ponder on the outfit and how possibly ridiculous he may look. Once fully dressed, he opened up the door once again, keeping his eyes firmly locked on his feet as he came into view.

Teru had seated himself in Ritsu's place, texting away on his phone as he waited. Once he noticed Ritsu had returned, he slipped his phone into his pocket and stood, looking Ritsu over with a fond smile.

"Wow, you look great! I knew that shade of blue would be perfect for you," he said, stepping closer towards the now very anxious Ritsu, who was standing stiff with his hands balled into fists. Teru reached out and grasped the deep blue cardigan, adjusting it so that the gray undershirt was more visible underneath.

Then he... stopped. He stopped, hands still holding the cardigan, not moving or saying anything. Ritsu was extremely nervous, but tried his best not to let it show in such close proximity. He absolutely refused to look up and see what kind of expression must be on Teru's face. Does it not actually look that good? Does Teru... not think he looks good?

"Yeah... you look great, Ritsu," Teru murmured, much closer to his ear than he'd expected. Ritsu flinched, but made no move to back away.

"Oh, heh... you think so? I don't know, this isn't the kind of thing I would normally wear," he said, and somehow found the courage to look up.

Teru, as expected, was smiling at him. That was nothing new. He smiled all the time, at everyone. It wasn't something special. No, that gentle smile that reached his eyes, soft and strangely vulnerable, certainly wasn't anything special.

Except for the fact that he was blushing. Teru's pale cheeks were dusted a delicate pink as he gazed at Ritsu, something the other had never seen on the level-headed boy before. He looked... positively adorable.

"You always look great, no matter what you're wearing," Teru spoke, a genuine look in his eyes, and suddenly it hit him that this was probably not a routine part of the shopping experience. No, what was happening between them was more personal, and that unexpected transition was jarring.

Ritsu finally stepped back, though Teru's fingers lingered in the space Ritsu had been standing. "Teru, I... was this just... are we still just- shopping?" he stuttered, his voice so quiet that Teru still had to lean in close just to hear him.

Teru smirked, raising a brow playfully. "Well of course we're still shopping! You like the outfit, yeah? I'm still buying it for-"

Ritsu shook his head. "No, I mean, what you said. Uh. What did you mean. By that."

The blush had since settled, though the way he stood suggested Teru wasn't acting as he usually did. "What I meant? Well, I meant what I said - I really," he paused then, covering his mouth with a hand, "really like. Really like, uh... how you look."

If Ritsu's heart hadn't already stopped beating, he was surely on the verge of cardiac arrest at that point. "You like... are you trying to say you-"

"I like you, Ritsu! I really really really like you!" Teru suddenly erupted, voice cracking with emotion. "I didn't mean to- to tell you like this, god, I just wanted to spend time with you! But then you looked so cute in that outfit, and when you were about to fall asleep on the bench, I just wanted to k-" he stopped himself there, not even meeting Ritsu's eyes anymore after the confession.

Teru... liked him. Really really really liked him. He thought he looked cute in the outfit. He wanted to k-

...Kiss him?

Kissing Teruki? He had never kissed anyone before - he never had any interest in someone before - but now... seeing Teru like this, all flustered in his new jacket, knowing that he was interested...

Ritsu took a step forward.

Teru barely had time to react before a hand was at his chin, tipping his face up to meet Ritsu's. They were so close, their noses were just barely touching. Ritsu could feel Teru's rapid breath against his cheeks.

"This is... what you meant, right?" Ritsu asked softly, not wanting to make any bold moves if he was somehow misinterpreting the situation.

Silence. Then-

Teru nodded, their noses rubbing together with the motion. "Yes. But only if you want-"

The last remaining distance between them was closed. Ritsu's lips met Teru's in a soft, sweet kiss, lasting only seconds before Ritsu pulled away, face glowing red.

"Shi- sorry, that was too fast! I shou-"

Aaand the lips were back, this time Teru the one to initiate the kiss. This one, however, lasted longer, Teru gently wrapping his arms around Ritsu's back to pull him in closer. Ritsu felt a comfortable warmth flow through his entire body with the physical contact, and he reciprocated the kiss while moving his hands down to rest on Teru's shoulders, lightly tugging the jacket. Teru smiled into the kiss and he felt his heart soar, the sensation leaving him light-headed.

A few moments later and the two had to part for air, though they stayed close as the events of the past several minutes began to set in. They had... kissed. They had actually kissed.

It was incredible.

Teru brought a hand up to Ritsu's face, cupping his cheek. "Sorry. Too sudden?"

Ritsu shook his head slowly, still in a daze. Teru chuckled, and Ritsu could feel the vibrations of his laughter in his own chest. "Well, that's good. You know, you're not such a bad kisser for someone that avoids human interaction," he joked, causing Ritsu to splutter indignantly, and Teru only laughed harder.

"So, then, what does- what happens now?" Ritsu asked tentatively, still not entirely used to discussing such emotions with people.

"Ah, maybe we should save that for later? I haven't even paid for these clothes yet!"

Oh, right. They were still in the dressing room.

The dressing room in that tacky department store full of hideous neon mistakes.

Oh. God. No.

"M-my first kiss... this is where I had my first kiss?!"

Teru was still holding back giggles at the checkout, hand laced together with a very red and very grumpy Ritsu, who despite his humiliation, still didn't mind holding hands.

-

By the next weekend, Ritsu was officially in a relationship- his first relationship. He went out on his first date, wearing his first "fashionable" outfit, with his first boyfriend, who complimented him on his striking blue cardigan, which contrasted well with his own black and white bomber jacket.

Chapter Text

Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. Don't. Talk. To. Me.

His footsteps were quick and even. He kept his gaze directed straight ahead; he doesn't like eye contact, but he won't allow himself to look smaller by lowering his eyes to the floor. Annoying as it is, he has a reputation to uphold.

Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me.

People don't necessarily move out of the way for him, but they give him his space, and apologize if they bump into him. Runners slow their pace in his vicinity, and groups split apart to let him pass without a second thought.

Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me.

He's looking for someone. Someone who waits for him every day at the school gate, without fail. Someone that annoys him more than anyone else, but he somehow looks forward to seeing every day.

Please talk to me. Please talk to me. It's been a day but I already miss your prissy little voice.

"There you are. It's rude to keep your senior waiting, you know."

Ritsu rolled his eyes. His shoulders sagged with relief, releasing the tension that had been building since he woke up that morning. "You never specified a certain time I'm supposed to meet you," he said, voice monotonous and dripping with apathy, as per usual.

Teruki Hanazawa clicked his tongue, looking mildly offended. "Well, you should have thought to ask about such an important detail, Mister Elite," he teased, smirking as Ritsu's mouth twitched slightly at the nickname. Oh how he loved to make him mad.

Before Ritsu could reply, the older boy turned and began walking the opposite way. Ritsu, of course, followed without protest. "Onigawara looked terrible today. Do you really have to keep kicking him while he's already down?" Ritsu recalled how the upperclassman had appeared earlier that day, face covered in bandages and bruises, expression making no effort to hide his anger. He knew right away who it was that had done that to him.

Teru sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Believe me, it's not as if I enjoy dealing with his tantrums so often, but if I don't punish him he'll never learn his place," he lamented, "though it's unfortunate that he's such a slow learner," he laughed amusedly to himself, the sound grating on Ritsu's ears a bit less than the laughter of most people.

This is what they did every day. They walked from school to Teru's apartment, where they would go over their plans for the rest of the day. Most of the time, this consisted of "psychic training", shopping, or dealing with the "commoners", as Teru so eloquently referred to them as.

Ritsu would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it all. At least more than he enjoyed being at home with his family.

Besides, they weren't doing anything wrong. It was all self-defense, right? 

"Ahh, why must you be so stubborn? What is it that you don't understand?" Teruki sighed, stepping over the bloodied bodies of several delinquents from another school (Ritsu didn't care to remember which one), careful not to get any kind of bodily fluids on his shoes. The remaining gang members tensed up at his approach but showed no signs of backing down from the inevitable fight. A common mistake.

"You commoners hold so tightly to your worthless pride that you don't even consider the consequences of your actions," Ritsu had heard similar speeches countless times before, and while he certainly couldn't relate to the other's remarkable narcissism, he couldn't argue with the undeniable fact that normal people simply couldn't hope to compete with an esper. They'll keep trying, of course; and the two of them will always be there to step in and knock them back down.

Ritsu stood by, blank expression on his face, as the delinquents began to puff themselves up once more. "You think yer fancy words are gonna change my mind?" the leader huffed, pushing a thumb into his chest. "Think again, blondie! My mind's already made up about beatin' yer ass!" he growled, his followers cheering alongside him. Ritsu couldn't see Teru's face, but he was sure of the expression it must be sporting in that moment.

So annoying. So tedious. So amusing.

"What a shame... you'll only have yourselves to blame for this, then," unbeknownst to their aggressors, Teru's aura flared to life, a golden oil slick glistening in the afternoon sun. Ritsu was certainly no artist, but he had always thought that Teru's aura suited him perfectly.

Teru took a single step forward and stopped, waiting for his opponents to make the first move. He was generous like that. Of course, this only further angered the gang leader, whose face was such a bright shade of red that he looked as if he would catch on fire. "Y-you... I won't go easy on you, bastard!" he shouted as he charged headfirst into the approaching storm. At his advance, the others whooped and hollered, readying fists and weapons as they ran in to join the fight.

They attacked first. This is all just self-defense, right?

Teru seemed to read his mind in times like these. He smirked, waiting as the leader's fist was reeled back and sprung forward, palm outstretched. He grabbed the leader's face, using his momentum to knock him backwards, slamming his skull into the pavement with a little more force than necessary. The poor guy was knocked out cold. So much for kicking ass.

The others immediately halted in their tracks, a range of emotion flashing across a dozen nameless faces, though most quickly settled on outrage. "How dare you do that to our leader?! We'll kill ya for that!" one of them cried out, and the others echoed their agreement, resuming their charge.

"What are they, a hivemind?" Teru muttered under his breath, shifting his feet together in his infamous pigeon-toed stance. With a flick of his wrists, he ripped up the pavement around him and sent it flying at the feet of the approaching mob. The rocks succeeded in tripping several of the ones in front, though the rest simply hopped over their fallen comrades, rushing to land the first hit on their target.

There were now eight delinquents left to take care of. Wasting no time, Teru set to work taking them out. As one swung down a large wooden bat, Teru danced around to their side, swinging his leg in one fluid motion to knock out their knees. As they hit the ground, another two prepared to attack at once. Raising an arm, Teru lifted the fallen gang member and threw him at the other two, sending all three flying into a wall.

Ritsu watched on, never once looking away from his partner as he fought. He couldn't help but find him beautiful, moving in a sort of stylized dance unique to him and him alone. He looked so regal compared to the gang sprawled along the ground in his wake. He was absolutely mesmerizing.

During the commotion, one of the delinquents had made his way towards Ritsu, figuring he must be on the opposing side of the conflict. Out of the corner of his eye, he could make out the image of an arm rushing towards him at an alarming rate. He was about to be punched in the face.

I didn't attack first. He hit me first.

He didn't even try to dodge, he was so absorbed in the moment. The fist collided squarely with his jaw, a pained grunt the only noise he managed to produce as he lost his balance and tumbled to the ground. He had certainly felt worse, but he wasn't a particular fan of having the taste of blood in his mouth.

Teru took notice of the situation, and promptly sent the offending mid-schooler flying. Ritsu calmly pushed himself upright as Teru appeared in front of him, a hand extended. As Ritsu took it, Teru's eyes met his, and Ritsu could tell right away that he wasn't mad. "Ugh, why do you insist on letting yourself get hurt like this? You and I both know you're perfectly capable of defending yourself," the other boy said, frustrated but not upset.

"You and I both know the answer to that," Ritsu replied without missing a beat, eyeing the remaining delinquents, who had begun to surround them on all sides. Teru realized this too, rolling his eyes.

"Well, what do you say we finish this early?"

Before he could even blink, Teru was behind him, his hands gripping Ritsu's wrists and raising them up in a fighting stance. Ritsu's heart was racing, his face was burning, his hands were shaking, but Teru acted as his anchor, breath warm and even against his shoulder. Despite the cacophony of voices all around him, Teru's gentle voice rang loud and clear in Ritsu's head. "Are you just going to stand there and take it, Student Council?" he teased, "Go on. It's not wrong if it's self-defense, right?"

Right. Of course. They're just defending themselves. This isn't wrong.

He can feel Teru's powers coursing through his body, serving to amplify his own. With a silent nod, Ritsu let go of the locks that held his powers in place. In an instant, a shockwave of immense energy ripped through the earth, rubble flying through the air as the delinquents tried to take cover. Unfortunately for them, neither Ritsu nor Teru were feeling particularly merciful that day. The shockwave chased after every single one of them, knocking them down, shooting rocks at them, throwing them into the walls of nearby buildings, until not a single one was left unscathed.

It was like this that Ritsu truly felt like he mattered. That Teru chose to share this moment, his power with him, brought a wonderfully warm feeling to bloom in his chest. He could feel Teru smirk against his shoulder as the waves of energy came to an end, and silence fell upon the two boys still standing.

"Honestly, what am I going to do with you?" Teruki whined as he sat down on the couch next to Ritsu, handing him an ice pack. Ritsu took it, gingerly holding it to his swollen jaw. "What's the point of letting them get the satisfaction of hitting you when you could easily destroy them? I just don't understand you," Teru leaned back against the couch cushions, their shoulders resting against each other.

Ritsu hummed. In all honesty, he wasn't sure why himself. Despite his distaste for most social aspects of life, he felt he had to uphold his reputation as an honorable student among his peers. If he allowed himself to express his violent tendencies... well, he would be no better than the delinquents he hated so much.

At least, that was before he had his powers. Now he was "special". Now he didn't have to work for it anymore.

So why...?

His train of thought was derailed as Teru sighed beside him. "Geez, you really think too much. You should learn to relax a bit - it's bad for your skin to be so tense all the time," he remarked, standing as he spoke. He stepped in front of Ritsu, looking down on him with that smug grin of his.

"What?" Ritsu asked bluntly, looking up at the other with tired but curious eyes.

Suddenly, Teru leaned down, so close that he could feel the heat of his breath against his lips. Ritsu's mind immediately went on red alert, sirens blaring as he struggled to comprehend the situation. Teru said nothing, but he seemed to find entertainment in watching Ritsu's reaction play out. "See? This is what I mean. You're always stuffed into that tight little shell of yours," he said, smooth voice enough to instantly stuff Ritsu's stomach full of butterflies.

In a rare bold move, Ritsu dared to say something back. "And how am I supposed to get out of it?" Teru's eyes looked straight into him, freezing him to the spot while simultaneously leaving his body feeling like jelly.

"How about I teach you how to relax?"

"Ah-" Ritsu was cut off as the distance between their lips was closed. The kiss was a little rough, but somehow felt oddly sweet, perhaps because Teru had moved to cup his face in his hands, rubbing his injured cheek gently with one thumb.

At some point Ritsu had closed his eyes and apparently forgotten that he still had to breath. When they parted, Ritsu had to gasp for air, a little embarrassed when Teru laughed "Hey, what are you laughing at?" Ritsu spluttered indignantly, "Y-you just caught me off guard, that's all!"

"How can you be so cute without even trying?" Teru cooed, and Ritsu resigned himself to the blush that had conquered his face, because that definitely wasn't going away anytime soon.

That was okay. He found his familiar anxieties absent after their moments together like these.

Yes, it was okay if the "commoners" never truly learned their place. As long as they keep getting up, the two of them will be there to knock them back down.

Chapter Text

"Teruki, can I please take this blindfold off now? It stinks of cologne."

"Not yet, not yet! We're almost there, I promise!"

"This better not be anything involving roller skates. Or neon lights. Or remote seaside coves full of snakes and crabs. Crabs with very sharp claws," Ritsu huffed, recalling a memory that may or may not involve the scent of sea salt and a week of painful sitting.

"Hey, don't blame that on me! I was fairly confident in my source on that lost treasure," Teru muttered the latter part under his breath, but quickly cast it aside. "Anyways, this time is going to be much more pleasant, I promise!" he gripped Ritsu's hand tighter, heart racing in excitement for the night to come.

Ritsu's heart was also beating fast, but for very different reasons. The same reason that he was sincerely thankful for the secure grip on his hands:

Teru thought it would be a good idea to fly to their date destination. Except they couldn't just fly normally (is flying even something you can consider normal?), no, Teruki Hanazawa won't sit with normal! So now he's being walked from behind - blindfolded - like that scene from that movie about the blond wizard and old lady.

Wait, does that make him the old lady?

Ritsu Kageyama is not good with this whole "romance" thing. That's why, despite the inevitable disaster that ensues, Ritsu is usually all right with his boyfriend leading the way.

His boyfriend... it's hard to believe that it's already been three months since they got together. Teru had been planning this date for weeks in advance, though Ritsu is familiar with plans that go awry. He can only hope that he makes it through the night with no injuries serious enough to require painkillers.

The two drifted along the early nighttime breeze, above the noise and bustle of the city, nothing but birdsong filling the empty expanse of cloud and sky. Ritsu could make out nothing but the imprint of lights below him, still bright enough to penetrate the cloth obscuring his vision. Though he wasn't one to be afraid of heights, the fact that he had no idea where they were going left a bit of an uneasy feeling resting in the pit of his stomach. Teru, ever atuned to his emotions, rested his chin on his shoulder. "We're okay, don't worry! Just a few more minutes and we'll be on our date," he said, tone soft in an attempt to comfort the other.

Ritsu blushed, lowering his head. "I'm not worried! You don't need to speak to me like I'm a child, you know."

Teru stayed quiet for a moment. "Ritsu, you're thirteen," he said simply, and left it at that. Ritsu couldn't really argue since, well, he really was thirteen.

He never imagined he would be in a relationship at the age of thirteen! Maybe he really has changed after all.

While Ritsu drifted into other thoughts, Teru gasped in delight. "Ah, we're finally here!" he exclaimed, a bit too loudly considering he was right next to Ritsu's ear. "All right, I'm taking us down now," he warned before starting the descent back down to solid earth.

Ritsu felt his breath catch in his throat, anxiety trickling into his lungs as the moment of truth approached. Where were they? What was this date going to be like? Seriously, is there going to be any dinner?!

Before he knew it, his feet made contact with the ground, and Ritsu realized right away that he was not standing on a hard floor, but the uneven surface of the outdoors. So... probably not a restaurant. Ritsu's heart (and stomach) sank just a little.

Teru plopped down behind him with an unecessary "oof!", clapping his hands onto his boyfriend's shoulders. "O-kay, you can look now~!" he said in a sing-song voice, anticipating what his reaction would be.

With a resolute sigh, Ritsu lifted the blindfold and opened his eyes to whatever sight he would find waiting for him, a million expectations whizzing to the forefront of his mind and-

-all of them were immediately dashed.

The sky was clear and full of billions of shining stars as far as the eye could see, meeting at the horizon line with the grand ocean, spread out below a scenic cliffside. A safe distance from the steep drop was a soft-looking blanket, upon which sat a basket tied with ribbon.

Ritsu had no words to describe what he felt in that moment. Fortunately, Teru was there to encourage him. "So, what do you think? It's pretty, right?" he asked excitedly, bouncing on his heels like a toddler at an amusement park.

"It's... beautiful, Teruki," was all Ritsu could say.

And it was. Absolutely beautiful. Very cheesy, sure, and not at all the grandiose event that Ritsu had previously envisioned, but it was beautiful and certainly romantic.

Teru practically squealed. "I'm so glad you agree!" he said before taking hold of Ritsu's hand, already leading him to the blanket. Ritsu, still stunned, silently allowed himself to be pulled along. "I found this place while I was out training one day," Teru began, sitting them both down comfortably, "and I knew right away that I had to take you here someday! I was just waiting for the perfect opportunity," he said, beaming.

"You came all the way out here just for training?" Ritsu asked incredulously. Sure, he knew the other liked to go hiking as a form of physical training, but he sure they were a fair distance from Seasoning City if they had reached the ocean.

Teru nodded, looking a little sheepish. "Ah, well, the truth is that I got a little carried away," he scratched his cheek as he thought, "I had been planning a weekend of camping in the wilderness, but in the end I wandered pretty far from home and had to take the subway back. Once I actually found a station, of course!"

Ritsu blinked. "Wha- how- what even are you?" he stuttered, thinking back on all of Teru's life stories he's heard. The boy is perhaps the single most unique and... eccentric person he's ever met in his short life.

Teru laughed freely, Ritsu's heart fluttering with affection at the sight. "Oh, you're one to talk, Mister 'I Carry Spoons Around in My Pocket Just in Case'!" Teru rebutted, wiping his eyes of stray tears.

Ritsu, despite himself, allowed an undignified snort to pass through his throat, which only caused Teru to start laughing again. "Hey, come on, stop laughing! It wasn't that funny!" Ritsu shouted, but it ended up half-hearted as the laughter started to spread between them.

However, the moment was short-lived, as Teru went silent as soon as Ritsu started laughing as well. Ritsu's immediate reaction was that he had done something wrong, somehow. "Wh-what's wrong?" he asked shakily, recovering his breath.

Teru seemed to snap out of whatever mood he was in, shaking his head. "No, nothing's wrong! It's just..." he looked away, and it could have been a trick of the light, but it looked as if there was a dash of rosy pink dusting his cheeks. "Well, you only laugh when you're really happy. So, I was just thinking... that I, you know, I'm... happy that I can... make you happy?" he ended on a high pitched question, still avoiding eye contact. "Does that make any sense? Oh, that's such a sappy thing to say, isn't it?"

Ritsu had definitely stopped laughing by that point. "Yes. That is very much a sappy thing to say," Ritsu said matter-of-factly, and he was mildly surprised that Teru's shoulders actually slumped. "But- I think that might have set the record for the sweetest thing someone has ever said to me," he added, smiling when Teru perked right back up.

"Heh, speaking of being sweet," he began, reaching for the basket sitting at his side, "I made us a little dinner for two!" he held the basket out to his partner, eyes sparkling nearly as bright as the stars above them.

Ritsu reached out and took the ends of the ribbon in both hands, gently pulling it apart. Teru did the honors of opening the box itself. "Ta-da!" he cheered, unveiling his edible creations with pride.

Teru had created an entire meal for them to enjoy, separated in neat little containers for every course. From the looks of it, Ritsu could see some yakiniku alongside miso soup, cucumber salad, fried white rice (Ritsu smiled at the little seaweed cats decorating the rice), and imagawayaki for dessert. Two sets of colorful chopsticks were secured in the top of the basket, along with two bottles of sparkling water.

"You made all of this yourself...?" Ritsu wondered, imagining the effort it must have took to cook everything in time for their date. "It looks really good! I didn't know you cooked, Teruki," Ritsu remarked, to which Teru reverted to his sheepish state.

"Yes, when you live on your own, you kind of have to learn how to cook. But don't praise me just yet! You have to try it first!" Teru set the basket down, beginning the task of taking each container out and arranging it for them both. Ritsu had nearly forgotten just how hungry he was, and noted absently that they really were getting dinner after all. Ah, my wish was granted...

"Okay, everything's set! Let's eat!"

The next hour was spent with delicious home-cooked food and idle chat. When Ritsu managed to feel comfortable around someone, he actually had a lot to say, and Teru was always willing to listen. They could talk about anything, switching subjects at random intervals, occasionally going off on tangents, and sometimes they could even share a laugh together.

The moon illuminated the two of them as they sat there, empty containers pushed aside, engaged in friendly discussion, as it finally dawned on Ritsu that he was actually having a great time on one of Teru's dates. None of them had gotten hurt or dirty or upset, and he hadn't even thought about crab a single time in the past hour! So long as some random mishap didn't manage to ruin everything, Ritsu would have to chalk this one up as a success for his ambitious boyfriend.

"Ritsu? Are you listening?" Teru asked, finally catching Ritsu's attention. Apparently the other had asked a question and had been awaiting his response. He really needs to stop zoning out when other people are talking to him.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that," Ritsu admitted, and Teru huffed a little but didn't seem too put out by it, which was a good sign. "I was thinking though... I wasn't sure how tonight was going to end up, but now I kind of feel bad for doubting you. I've had a lot of fun," Ritsu looked into Teru's eyes, deep brown reflecting the inky black of night, the reflection of starlight just barely visible in the darkness.

Teru looked relieved, flashing one of his rare genuine smiles. "I've had a lot of fun, too. I'm thankful that I can share these moments with you," he said, and the intimacy of the statement made Ritsu's heart soar.

He had really fallen for this romantic idiot, hadn't he?

With nothing but the moon to shed light onto them, Ritsu scooted closer to Teru, leaning into his body and relaxing into the familiar warmth. Teru wrapped an arm around his shoulder, planting a quick kiss on the top of his head before looking out onto the glittering ocean beneath them. It was like a scene from a really bad young adult romance serial, but Ritsu couldn't dig up enough cycnicism to mind.

"So I was thinking for our next date-"

"Shh. It's too soon to ruin the mood."

"Ah, right. Later then."

Ritsu hoped he could look forward to - and dread - many more of Teruki's dates in the future.

Chapter Text

"What's wrong, Teru-kun? Got a cold or somethin'?"

"Hah, don't worry about me, I'm fine!"

Who knew that something so beautiful could cause so much misery? It was almost laughably poetic.

He would laugh if the action didn't result in a windpipe full of flower petals.

Teru wasn't exactly sure when it started, though he was positive that the pain set in before he was even aware of his feelings.

The aches came and went in uneven intervals, typically centered in the left side of his chest. Of course, chest pain was always a reason for concern, but he was a young, healthy individual, and the pain never travelled down his arm or up into his jaw, so he figured that whatever it was couldn't be too serious.

That all changed one chilly day in March, so early in the morning that the sun wouldn't be rising for several hours yet. That day, Teruki had been invited to spend the night at the Kageyama household, something he enjoyed as the brothers and their parents did well to make him feel at home - moreso than his own, that little apartment of one.

Their sleepovers together were never anything special, and perhaps that was what Teru appreciated most of all; there, he was included as a part of the family, not singled out or given different treatment. Shigeo acted no differently at home than he did in public. He smiled rarely, but gently when he did, and spoke in that polite, honest manner of his that Teru had learned to grow accustomed to. They played video games often, and marathoned movies and shows that managed to catch their collective interest, and did homework together if there was any to be done. It was a welcome change of pace.

That night was a bit different, however, as they were graced with the presence of the younger Kageyama sibling for once. Since the fall of Claw, Teru had become more acquainted with Ritsu, as he had expressed a strong desire to train his newly found psychic powers to their full potential. Teru, being the humble and generous person that he is, offered to act as a sort of teacher, as he had experience after training with the Awakening Lab kids.

At first, the younger was quite blunt, more aggressive than his brother, and with a certain coldness that the older rarely expressed. He grew frustrated with his ability - or, more accurately, his lack thereof - quite easily, and though Teru could understand how he must feel, he was never sure exactly what to say to him. Teru prided himself in his ability to read others like the pages in the neverending book of life, but he wasn't sure even Ritsu himself knew how his mind worked.

Maybe that's why he was so interested in becoming closer to him. Despite how frustrating his moody attitude could become, Teru found he enjoyed the boy's company more often than not. However, on every occasion that he was invited to spend the night, Ritsu had remained tucked away in his bedroom, only venturing out to use the bathroom or grab a snack. Teru had asked about Ritsu's reclusive behavior, but Shigeo didn't seem concerned, so he supposed it was just habit to avoid being seen when company was over. Teru could relate to that.

He was surprised to see Ritsu lounging on the couch when he arrived at the Kageyama household that afternoon, but the younger acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary. He greeted Teru with a friendly smile - he recalls a twinge of pain here, at the time he simply ignored it - before turning back to the television, one of those dramas that he mentioned watching a few times before. His sudden appearance was unprecedented, but not at all unwelcome; in fact, Teru was hopeful that he would actually hang out with them and let his hair down for once, so to speak.

It seemed Ritsu, too, behaved pretty much the same at home as he did in public. He was about as talkative as his brother, but always gave his sibling a chance to speak first before he would say anything. He smiled less often, and when he did, they were less often actually genuine, and more a familiar mask he wore to express something that hadn't quite reached happiness. Once out of sight of their parents, Ritsu brought out more of his sarcastic commentary, which Teru was greatly thankful for. When he laughed at Ritsu's remarks, he could almost feel something like beads catching in his throat, but he swallowed it down with junk food and fruit punch.

Everything was still normal, for the most part.

Until Teru caught Ritsu climbing out of his bedroom window on the way to the bathroom.

Teru was too tired to formulate an appropriate remark, and apparently Ritsu was too tired to wait for one. "I'm going up to the roof," he'd said matter-of-factly, voice scratchy and noticeably sleep-deprived.

"Oh," was all he managed to say, but as the other turned back to the window, ready to propel himself upwards, a dreamy thought slipped past his lips. "Can I join you?"

Ritsu paused, looking back with only moderate surprise. It only took a few moments of consideration to make up his mind. "Sure, I guess," he said, and promptly stepped out into the cool night air, aura flowing like crystalline water around him before he sprung up and out of sight.

Teru sighed and blearily rubbed at his eyes. He has to be careful what sentimental thoughts he might let slip in the late hours of the night.

His phone has been buzzing nonstop for the past hour or so. He can't bring himself to look at the messages of his worried friends. He can't face them like this.

He can't let them find out. They'll ask who it's for, and he doesn't think he's ready to hear their response. Hear his inevitable response.

"How do you know who you are?"

Teru looked to his companion, caught off guard by the serious question. "Haha, guess I'm not the only one that gets introspective at night," he joked, an attempt to lighten the mood, but Ritsu's expression didn't change in the slightest. (Nice going asshat)

Several moments passed in silence, and Teru was afraid he had made Ritsu upset, but Ritsu began to speak again before Teru could apologize. "My life has always revolved around my brother. Everything I've done, I've done with him in mind. I was okay with that, because my brother is important to me, but now that he's making more friends... I'm not really sure what to do with myself," Ritsu stares ahead, at the lights of the city, at the stars in the sky above, and Teru feels like he's been slapped awake by the reality of Ritsu's rare expression of inner emotions.

"Ah... I appreciate you opening up to me, but... I don't think I'd be the best person to talk to about this," Teru hates to admit it, but he really is in no place to offer advice. Normally he wouldn't put so much thought into these things, but he did want to become closer to Ritsu, and giving ill-advised insight on such a deep topic may not end well for either of them.

Ritsu sighed, leaning back on his arms. "That's- that's not why I'm telling you- ugh, just tell me how you do it! How can you be so sure of yourself?" Ritsu evidently wasn't used to having heartfelt conversations, getting so worked up over having to further explain himself. It could be that he's having difficulty channeling emotion into comprehensible words.

Teru brought a hand to his chin, considering the question. It wasn't as if he hadn't asked himself the same thing, but he wanted to give an answer more... optimistic than his own personal conclusions. "Well... I suppose I just try to keep a balance of wants and needs," he began, Ritsu finally turning to face him. "It's important to take care of yourself and your future, so doing well in school and eating a healthy diet is important. Besides that, I think what's best to remember is that you should pursue the things you're passionate about before worrying about pleasing other people. You'll be happier in the long run if you live for yourself."

Ritsu was silent, likely processing what advice Teru had given him. Teru watched his face carefully, trying to gauge his reaction, but his dark eyes betrayed no discernible emotion.

"I see," he mumbled softly, eyes unfocused. "It's just that... I'm not really passionate about anything. I have no idea what I want to do, just a vague idea of who I want to become. These past few weeks though... it makes me feel like the person I am, whoever that is, just... isn't capable of it."

A sharp pain suddenly shot from Teru's chest down into his left arm, his surprise betraying his efforts to suppress a pained yelp. Ritsu visibly jumped at the noise, eyes wide in alarm, as he looked to his companion with concern. "What happened? Are you okay?" he asked, gaze drifting to Teru's chest, where he clutched it with his good hand.

Though the initial spike had subsided, there remained an ache that came and went in waves. Though the sudden increase of intensity was troubling, Teru knew better than to say as such. His condition would push Ritsu's dilemma to the side, and he likely wouldn't speak up again for some time. With this in mind, Teru let his hand relax as much as he could bear, releasing his grip on his shirt. "Ah, it was nothing, don't worry about it," he said, offering a smile that he could only hope looked sincere.

Ritsu stared at him, obviously suspicious. "If you say so," he replied softly, though his gaze lingered on the other, looking him over for any sign of discomfort. The scrutiny made Teru more nervous than he expected. "Anyways... just forget I said anything. It's kind of embarrassing to say those kinds of things out loud."

Teru's heart dropped, and his mind scrambled for a solution, and shit there I go screwing things up again-

"No, really, it's not embarrassing! I think it's pretty common to consider your identity as a teenager. Nobody is born knowing exactly who they are; it's a process, it takes time!" Teru rambled, trying to reassure Ritsu that his feelings were important, to encourage him to let them out instead of keeping them hidden from everyone.

Ritsu seemed unimpressed. "I'm not so sure... this feels different, somehow. I don't think it's normal to worry about it like this. Really, a lot of things I feel don't seem right," Ritsu averted his eyes downwards, scratching absently at the tiles on the roof. His countenance had gone from contemplative to downright depressed in a matter of seconds.

What could he do to turn things around? What does Ritsu want to hear? What does he need to hear?

"Well... I haven't known the guy for very long, but I think I can tell you a few things about Ritsu Kageyama," Teru began, a smirk forming on his lips, and Ritsu looked up, confusion evident in his eyes.

"For starters, let's just mention how incredibly talented he is. I'm not just talking about grades here either, this guy is hard-working and efficient! I think he might be able to do just about anything if he set his mind to it," Teru leaned back casually, as if he were gossiping with classmates about some new transfer student, and Ritsu looked stunned, like he had no idea how to react to such praise.

"Then of course there's his looks. His complexion is flawless, and his eyes are so deep and mysterious. He's so good at sports, he must have a fit body, too. I'm sure the ladies all adore him!" Teru went on, adding a sort of theatrical air to his speech. Ritsu rolled his eyes at the last statement, but Teru could see the way the corners of his lips twitched, tantalizingly close to a smile. I think this is really working!

"Then there's his personality; the most important aspect of any person," as he said this, Ritsu tensed, insecurities surely racing through his mind, almost afraid to let Teru keep going. Teru really wanted to hug him, but held the impulse down. "On the surface, he seems very polite and level-headed. Deeper down, his emotions can get the better of him, leaving him bitter and angry, kind of hard to approach," fear flashed in Ritsu's eyes for a moment, long enough that Teru nearly stopped to apologize, but he had to finish this.

"Even deeper down, Ritsu Kageyama is kind, and funny, and considerate, and loyal. His sarcastic remarks are hilarious, the way he cares for loved ones is so sweet, and he has so much to say, you could listen for hours and never feel bored."

"He's not perfect, and he'll never be perfect, and that's okay. His imperfections are a part of him; having imperfections and making mistakes are all a part of being human. They don't make you a bad person. It doesn't mean you can't change."

Teru hadn't expected to get so emotional, but he must have been projecting somewhat, as he could relate to his own words, and absently wondered if he was being hypocritical.

Ritsu opened his mouth to say something, fumbled a bit with his words, and eventually looked away with a huff. "What, are you writing a young adult novel? You sound like you're reciting abstract poetry."

If this were a cartoon, a giant arrow would have manifested in the air and sailed straight through Teru's cartoon-heart. Teru's brows twitched, face going red. "Excuse you? I admit I can get a bit dramatic at times, but I meant what I said! Geez, I'm trying to help you out here!"

"Oh come on, that was too sappy to take seriously!" Ritsu chuckled, apparently amused by Teru's reaction.

Teru flopped back onto the roof, emotionally exhausted. "Fine, I won't drown you in sap anymore. Why did I even come up here in the first place?"

Ritsu shrugged. "Beats me. You're the one that asked."

"Heh. That's true."

The conversation died out, leaving nothing but the sound of wind and passing cars between them. Teru felt comfortable enough in his position to fall asleep on that roof, but Ritsu's voice cut through the ambient noise again.

"Hey, uh, Hana-"

"Teruki."

"-Teruki."

"...Yes?"

"Thank you."

The two words were enough to ignite a fire in his chest, cutting through his windpipes, scratching and clawing through his lungs. The taste of flora rose up in his throat, and his eyes began to water. He made no noise - he couldn't even if he wanted to.

Ritsu turned back to him. In the darkness, he could not see his friend's distress, so he smiled. All Teru could do was smile back.

It's you.

"Teru, where the hell have you been?! We've been tearin' through the city for days lookin' for you!" Shou's voice echoed among the rubble of the destroyed Seventh Branch, his powers acting in his anger to crack the pavement beneath his feet. At his side, Shigeo muttered something about calming down and talking things through. Ritsu looked conflicted, and said nothing.

Despite his efforts to disguise any trace of his psychic aura, Shigeo had somehow managed to track him down by following his trail directly to his location. There was truly no place that he could have hidden, but he had to try.

The pain was constant now, and always expanding, roots exploring and taking hold in every little inch of his lungs. Leaves filled up his chest cavity, and flowers made their way up his windpipe as they grew, exiting painfully through his throat as they reached full bloom. It was betond his ability to hide, but he still wasn't ready. He just needed a bit more time-

"What do you get out of this? Since when have you ran away from anything?" Shou went on, Shigeo succeeding in at least getting him to lower his voice.

"Hanazawa-kun, please, let us help you! Whatever it is you're worried about, I'm sure it's nothing that the four of us couldn't handle," Shigeo added, his soft voice barely audible past the water raining down from the upper floors.

"I'm sorry, but you can't do anything for me, Kageyama-kun," Teru struggled to force the words past the garden growing in his chest, but he tried to keep the gravel out of his voice. "I'll be fine, don't worry about me. I just need to... get away for a little while."

"What? That's bullsh-" Ritsu elbowed Shou sharply in the side, "-crap! How are we not supposed to worry about you when you're acting so weird? Cut the emo act and just tell us what's going on!"

Teru's eyes met Ritsu's for just a moment, but it was enough to spark movement in his chest, pushing new flowers closer and closer towards his mouth. It was surprising how much stamina it took to suppress the threatening coughing fit. "I-I can't. I can't tell you," he said, voice now clearly strangled. His time was almost out.

The others caught on to his distress instantly. Shigeo stepped forward, hand outstretched tentatively towards him. "Are you not feeling well, Hanazawa-kun? You shouldn't be out so late if you're sick," he tried to approach, but Teru took a step back, shaking his head fervently. It's no use, no use, he's out of time, he doesn't want to say it like this-

"Please Ha- Teruki. You helped me before; let us help you now," Ritsu's gentle voice rang crystal clear in Teru's muddled head.

Ritsu was concerned about him (you made him worry). Ritsu wanted to help (he probably pities you). Ritsu cared about him (he doesn't feel the same).

"N-no-!" Unbidden, the black narcissus spreads its petals wide, blooming in his suffering. A horrible cough wracks his whole body, and his legs are so weak that he collapses onto the floor.

"Oh shit-" He hears Shou say, followed by three urgent sets of footsteps rushing to aid him, but there was nothing anyone could do for him now.

Everything hurt so much; his head, his throat, his chest, his heart, it was all just so much. He could feel the flowers in the back of his mouth now, forcefully pushing their way up and out, and all Teru could do was lay there and cry because now they all would see it and know how pathetic he really is.

"What-what do we do?" Shigeo's meek voice sounded from his left, scared for his friend, and he felt so terrible for doing this to them, he was terrible, he hadn't managed to change at all-

He gagged violently and a handful of black petals sprayed from his mouth onto the floor beneath him. Someone around him gasped at the sight. All he could do was cry.

As the main flower began to work its way out of his mouth, Teru desperately wished to black out. He couldn't stop gagging, the reflex excruciatingly painful and downright disgusting. He wanted to rip the whole damn thing out that instant, but he was fairly certain that uprooting the plant would likely be the last thing he ever did, and though he knew he was going to die, he didn't want to go out like that. Not with them watching, at least.

He screwed his eyes shut as the narcissus finally popped out of his mouth, his deepest feelings but on display for all to see. With the largest part of the flower out, the gagging had calmed enough that he could focus on getting the entire thing out. With a few quick breaths, he forced himself to endure another round of coughs, giving the narcissus the last few pushes it needed to pass completely through his throat. The flower fell gracelessly from his mouth, and Teru soon followed.

This is it. It ends here.

"Oh god..." Shou's eyes were blown wide with horror, fixed on the plant that just came out of his friend's mouth. "Teru, man... how did this happen? Who did this to you?"

There it is. The inevitable question.

Shigeo moved closer to him, placing a hand on his arm and squeezing gently. "Hanazawa-kun, this is very serious. If you can tell us who you have feelings for, we could help you confess! You don't know what they'll say until you try. If they say no... we'll help you through that, too. You're so popular and handsome, you'd be able to find someone nice!" Shigeo only talked so much when he was nervous, but Teru still appreciated his endless kindness. If he knew who it really was, though...

Ritsu remained totally still, hands visibly shaking in tightly closed fists. "Stop this. Stop being so dramatic for once and just tell us who the hell you're suffering for," Ritsu growled, his reaction startling his brother.

"Ritsu, I don't think you should-" Shigeo began, but Ritsu cut him off.

"No! I'm tired of this! Teru, you're dying! This isn't a romantic drama series, this is real life! You're stronger than this, you can get over it if you tried!" Ritsu shouted in frustration, or maybe in anxiety, as he glared at the boy collapsed on the floor. "Spit it out already! Just give us a name!"

Spit it out, huh? At this point, he was too tired to do anything else. He can't put it off any longer.

Without breaking eye contact, Teru took the black narcissus in his hand and, with a trembling grip, extended his arm in Ritsu's direction.

Ritsu raised a brow, but gingerly took the offered flower. "Uh... thanks? But why are you giving me this?" he asked, studying the thing more closely as if he could find the answer engraved somewhere.

Shou and Shigeo went dead silent. All eyes were on Ritsu.

"Tell us who the hell you're suffering for"

There was almost a tangible pop in the air as the realization finally set in, and Ritsu's heart shattered.

I'm sorry

"N-no... no, this is just a joke, right? You're joking right now, right?"

I'm so sorry

"That can't be right... it can't be me! It doesn't make sense!"

I never wanted to hurt you

"I-I don't understand, Teruki! Why? Why would you suffer like this for me? I don't understand!"

Tears formed and fell from Ritsu's dark eyes, his entire body now shaking along with his panic. "This is because of me... you're dying because of me..." he curled in on himself, unable to process the truth of his friend's feelings.

Teru struggled with his fatigued body, using what little strength he had left to try and push himself up, get closer to Ritsu, comfort him somehow. Shou reached out and took hold of his arms, supporting him as he sat upright. "Damn, Teru... I had no idea," he mumbled under his breath, eyes downcast.

Shigeo looked like he had totally shut down. Knowing him, he probably had no clue what to do in such a situation, though he wanted to do something. His friend was dying because he had feelings for his brother... how was someone supposed to react to that revelation?

"Teruki..." Ritsu croaked, drawing Teru's attention. He was looking down at the narcissus in his hands, tears having thoroughly stained his cheeks.

Teru tried to speak, but even using the overworked muscles caused significant pain. He stopped, cleared his throat, and tried again, this time in a whisper. "It's... not your fault," he held his throat as he spoke, a useless attempt at easing the discomfort.

Ritsu shook his head. "If I had known... maybe I could have said something sooner."

Teru began to reach out to him, but he drew his hand back, worried such physical contact might make him even more uncomfortable. "You don't have to... say anything. I understand."

Ritsu shook his head again, this time more aggressively. "No, you don't! I- for a while now, I... I've had feelings."

What.

"What," Shou voiced what they were all thinking.

"Lately I've been so confused about myself... I've been so focused on figuring things out, so I started to notice that I- well, I feel different around you. I-in a good way, mostly."

Teru believes, in this moment, that he must have finally died, because this isn't a romantic drama series, and things like this don't happen in real life.

"I still need to... figure things out, though. I can't say yet that I- that I feel exactly the same, but," Ritsu finally looked up, and his teary eyes reflected the stars above, and Teru is reminded of the night he realized he was in love, "I can say that, at the least, I like you. So... maybe we could... I don't know, try things out?"

Teru felt the waterworks coming on again, and he was much too tired to stop it. "I... of course. Of course! I- we- we can talk!" he spluttered, and his throat was still on fire but he couldn't care less in this moment.

Ritsu sniffled and wiped at his eyes, but he was beaming. "I can't believe... you were so close to dying a minute ago.. and all we had to do was talk about our feelings!" he was laughing now, airy and full of relief, and Teru would join him if his head didn't feel like it was splitting in two.

"So... are you two a thing now?"

Woops they were absolutely not alone at all this whole time shit Shou and Shigeo were literally sitting right there just watching them pour their hearts out.

Shigeo blushed, lightly slapping Shou on the arm. "Suzuki, that's rude! They were having a nice moment together!" he scolded, but all that really did was make Shou laugh.

"So," Ritsu started, spinning the black narcissus absently between two fingers, "Hanahaki disease, was it? I think it takes several days to clear up once things are... okay. If it's all right with you... I could stay at your place until you're better," he suggested, cheeks dusted pink, and even though his eyes were swollen and red from crying, and his hair was even more messy than usual, he still managed to look beautiful.

Teru nodded with drooping eyes, exhaustion catching up to him. "Yeah... I'd like that..." he whispered, and though he knew his chest would still be full of roots and leaves for a while, it seemed a little more bearable now that he knew Ritsu would be at his side.

Hell, this still feels like a dumb romance novel, but it beats dying any day.

Chapter Text

It was sudden, out of nowhere in the dead of night, and it sent Teruki's heartbeat through the roof.

<3*~Ricchan~*<3

please help me please i need help

The text was obviously written in a hurry, without Ritsu's typical attention to grammar and punctuation. The lack of context left Teru in a panic; what could be happening? Is he in trouble?

Me

I'm coming over. What's wrong? Are you hurt?

After sending the text, he leaped out of bed and ran straight for the fromt door, only bothering to slip on some shoes before he was out of the apartment and running through the halls and down the stairs. His phone buzzed in his hand, and he didn't even slow down to look at the message.

<3*~Ricchan~*<3

i can't do this i can't calm down nothing feels real im alone please help me

Teruki's heart sank as the situation became clear; Ritsu was having a panic attack and was unable to come down from it himself.

Ritsu had fallen into a depressive episode several days ago, something that typically happened once or twice a year, but Ritsu had been insistent that he would be fine and didn't need to be watched over. He hated accepting help from others when he was unwell, but Shigeo and Teruki still made sure to spend extra time at his side, providing more physical contact than usual in order to remind him that he wasn't alone, that despite the chaos erupting in his mind, he was safe and loved.

Teruki had been spending every night with Ritsu, cuddled up together in the younger's bed, warm and secure, and Ritsu had been able to sleep soundly. After a few days, he had claimed to be feeling a bit better, and told Teruki that he wouldn't need to stay the night another time. Teruki wanted to argue, but didn't want to make his anxiety any worse, and Shigeo had assured him he would watch over his little brother. Still, he hadn't felt right, leaving Ritsu when his mental state was still so fragile.

It looked like his suspicions were, unfortunately, correct. Ritsu was pushing himself to heal too fast, but he couldn't handle it. Not on his own, at least.

Teruki rounded another corner, and the Kageyama household came into view. He whipped out his phone and typed a quick message.

Me

I see your house now, just hold on. I'm almost there.

He took a deep breath and dashed towards the house, mentally preparing himself for what kind of state his boyfriend might be in. If he was going to do this, he had to calm himself down as well; he had to be the pillar that Ritsu needed him to be, and he was more than willing to do so.

When he reached the fromt gate, he didn't even bother opening the fromt gate as he leaped over the fence, using telekinesis to propel himself up to the second floor, landing firmly on Ritsu's balcony. The curtains were closed - Ritsu's anxiety was made worse when he looked out into the world during an attack - so he gently knocked on the glass to get his attention.

Immediately, the curtains were thrown back, and there he was.

Ritsu's face was somehow flushed and pale at the same time, and his limbs were shaking as he struggled to stay standing. His eyes were blown wide open and his eyes were glazed over, unfocused, full of tears that continued to rush down his red cheeks like rivers. His lips were quivering, his chest heaving as he struggled to breathe, and Teruki wanted nothing more in that moment than to hold him tight in his arms and never, ever let go.

Ritsu fumbled with the lock on the sliding door before finally throwing it open, practically falling into Teruki's arms with a heavy sob. Teruki braced himself and kept them both standing, arms wrapping around his boyfriend securely. "It's okay, it's okay now, I'm right here with you," he said firmly, fighting off the doubts floating around in Ritsu's mind. "Come on, it's too cold outside. Let's sit on the bed where it's comfortable, okay? We can cuddle for as long as you want," he reassured, and Ritsu nodded shakily, clutching tight to Teru's pajama shirt.

One step at a time, Teru led the shaking boy back inside, using his powers to softly shut and lock the glass door behind behind them and drawing the curtains closed once again. Ritsu stumbled a bit on his weak legs, but Teru never let him fall, working a steady pace until they reached the bed and Ritsu could be lowered gently onto it. Teru never once let go, shifting along to Ritsu's side as they slid into place onto the bed and against the back wall. Ritsu buried his face into the crook of Teru's neck, his entire body shaking with gasps and sobs.

Teru held Ritsu against him, rubbing his back soothingly. "It's okay, I'm here. You don't have to be scared anymore," he said softly, pressing his lips to the top of Ritsu's head. "You can breathe easily now, just follow my lead," he guided Ritsu's head closer to his chest, where he could hear his heartbeat and feel the rhythm of his breathing. "Just try and breathe along with me, okay?"

He felt Ritsu nod, and his breath coming in hiccups as he tried to calm himself down enough to take deeper, longer breaths. Teruki gave him all the time he needed, offering gentle reassurances and encouragement to help him along. Ritsu pressed into him, drawn to the familiar and comforting warmth.

After a few minutes, Ritsu's breathing had steadied to a healthier level, but Teru knew better than to think the fight was over. Ritsu needed him here now; no matter how much Ritsu insisted that he was fine, Teru knew better after tonight.

"Feeling better?" he asked, and Ritsu nodded again, more firmly this time, though his hands were still slightly shaking. "Do you need anything? A glass of water?" Teru tried to offer, but Ritsu clung tight to him, not wanting his support to leave him alone for even a moment. "Okay. Do you want to lay down now?" he asked instead, and after a few seconds of consideration, Ritsu agreed.

Teru used his powers to move the covers back, allowing Ritsu to lay down and find a comfortable position before he settled next to him, curling protectively around his shivering body before laying the covers over the both of them. Teru was on the side closest to the window; he knew Ritsu felt safest like this, between his boyfriend and the wall. "Is this good?" Teru asked, and Ritsu nodded. He seemed much calmer now, and his eyes were beginning to droop as exhaustion set in.

Teruki smiled warmly, running his fingers through Ritsu's unruly black hair. Neither of them said another word, because there was nothing more that needed to be said. If Ritsu wanted to talk, he would - there was no need for Teruki to pressure him into anything he couldn't handle.

After about twenty minutes passed like this, however, Ritsu finally spoke. "Sorry," he muttered, voice hoarse from crying, "I'm sorry you had to run all the way out here just for me. I thought I would be okay on my own," he sounded defeated, empty, hopeless, and it was nearly enough to bring Teru to tears. Ritsu had been trying so, so hard to hold on, but every single day was like hell for him, every day he was assaulted by his own mind, every day he wondered if it was even worth it to keep fighting, and Teru knew he was so tired of it all and he didn't deserve any of that suffering.

"Don't apologize, you know I love every moment I spend with you," he said sincerely, though Ritsu still threw him a tired pout in response to the cheesy line. "Ritsu, you can't expect yourself to heal so quickly. Rushing yourself will only make things worse. I know you're tired, but you have to give it time."

Ritsu closed his eyes, nuzzling into Teru. "I'm scared," he whispered, just barely audible even in the quiet of the night. "What if I never get better? What if nothing works? What if I have to deal with this for the rest of my life?" he pressed further and further into Teru's body, voice becoming weaker as he continued.

Teru took Ritsu's face in his hands, bringing their faces close together. "You will get better, I know you will. It's not going to be easy, but you're so, so strong Ritsu, and you're not alone! Your family is here for you, Shou is here for you, I'm here for you! You don't have to shoulder this alone," he said, pouring his emotions into every word. "Shigeo said he would watch over you. Why isn't he here?"

Ritsu looked away. "Because... I didn't tell him."

"Exactly. If you keep it all on yourself, we won't know how to help you! You're never a burden, Ritsu, just tell us what you need and we'll do everything in our power to support you."

Ritsu looked back at him and smiled, though a few tears fell from his eyes; Teru wiped them with his thumb and planted a soft kiss to his forehead. "I... I'll try. I'm still scared, but I'll try to hold on."

Teru shifted to hold Ritsu more fully, more comfortably, and he giggled as Ritsu sighed and tickled the skin on his neck. "I love you so much, Ritsu."

Though Teru couldn't see his face, he could feel Ritsu's lips curve into a smile against his skin. "I love you too, Teruki."

That night, they both slept peacefully, wrapped securely in each other's arms, fighting Ritsu's demons hand-in-hand. They would keep fighting for as long as it took for Ritsu to live his life happily.